Saturday, April 22, 2017

Who's my birth mom?

As most of you know we have adopted children.  Four to be exact.  We also have two homegrown children (biological) for a grand total of six.  Yesterday we were driving along to go do some summer clothes shopping and this very enlightening conversation ensued . . .

Marriela has been processing being adopted for some time now.  She is angry at her birth mother because she insists she gave her a disability by doing bad drugs.  (she is aware her mom used bad 'medicines' but learned about drugs in school in health class and now uses that terminology).  But at no time have we ever associated her mother in a negative way or implied she has 'caused' any issues for Marriela.  So anyway. . .

Driving along and Marriela starts yelling about how she wants her birth mom (typical when I've told her "no" to something she wanted, and in this case, it was to eat lunch at 10:30 am).  She then announces "Tray wants his too!"  Which we have not heard and clearly surprised Tray, as he was now being dragged into the conversation/argument.  As per normal protocol, we put on music and try to change the subject.  Marriela goes on to tell us that she bets she is an only child.  Tray suddenly throws out there "I have a brother."  I throw him a total look of surprise and ask how he knows!??  He states "You told me."

Now it's entirely possible I did tell him that, and he does have a half brother in Georgia.  But I didn't recall actually sharing that with him, but now, we have information out there Marriela is going to throw back at me!  So now I sit there and contemplate how she's going to ambush me with Tray's new knowledge he's shared and how will I respond.  Joshua, my homegrown son, is sitting next to me in the passenger seat.

Joshua turns to me and says "Who's my birth mom? The whole van lost it!  Through my fit of laughter I said, "I am silly!!"  He responds with.  "Oh then do I know who my birth dad is?"  I can't make this stuff up!  I replied that we saw him on the day he was born right from my stomach.  So he says "Well then, who's my birth brother?"  I asked him who he thought was his birth brother and he says "Trayvon."  I just said "Yep, he's your birth brother from another mother." and left it alone.  LOL

At that point we arrived at the store.  I dropped them off with Joshua's staff, Timmothy, and went to return a fan at the store next door.  As I drove that 1 minute trip to the parking lot next door, I realized, that many of my children do not necessarily recognize they are adopted or not adopted.  We love our children fully and unconditionally regardless of their origins and how we came to know them.  I was honored that Joshua was as content to be adopted.  

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Easter and Update

Happy Easter!!  It was an absolutely beautiful day to celebrate, relax, take in family, and eat. . . a lot. So that's what we did.  I also dealt with my first cold in a very long time, and I'm not proud to say this. . . but I am a baby.  With all that's happened with the kids, all they have been through, all I've witnessed and lived through with them. . . this cold is the pits.  But, alas, I refuse to let it ruin my vacation.

Today we went to the MOST museum.  We ran through it at the speed of light, as that's what we do, we don't go nice and slow, taking in the sights and sounds.  No, we find the bathroom, look at things quickly, run up the climbing apparatus (yes, even Joshua and his dutiful staff went up and down the fun meant for those 12 and under).  Then we hurried out of the MOST into the VR (I'll remind you what that is if you forgot, further down in the update) in the pouring rain.  Joshua was highly distressed at getting wet.  We discussed the plans for tomorrow and all agreed on the lazy river pool at the local YMCA.. .except Joshua.  His reasoning: "I don't want to take another shower."  So we rationalize that he doesn't need to 'take an actual shower, just rinse off', but that still didn't sit well. So I'm taking him to walk the track while the others enjoy the pool.

So what else has gone on the past 2 years. . . laundry.   Lots of laundry has happened in the past 2 years.  Hmm.  Oh yeah, more laundry and a new washer and dryer because we broke the old ones with the laundry.

Nettie turned 27 a few weeks ago, Sergio is almost 11 (May 2), Tray is now 18, Marriela is 14, and Cody is 11.  For her birthday,, Annette asked for tickets to; drum roll please. ddddddddd Magic Men (AKA - cheap version of Magic Mike).  She is now the proud owner of three floor level tickets for the half naked bumping and grinding of sweaty men.  Oh yeah, parents of the year here!!

We're updating our two bathrooms and the kitchen, as well as fixing a few things that are less than optimal, such as the almost non-existent stair railing that Joshua fell through during a seizure.  I thought I'd love the process, yeah, not so much.  I like the 2"x2" paint swatch on the beautiful paint brochure, and so that's what I picked.  I like the 2'x2' pic of counter top on the website, so that's what we picked.  I liked the sink, faucet, hardware, floor, etc on the website, so that's what we went for. We tried doing the store thing, and both Peter and I were beyond overwhelmed by it all!!  Too much to look at, no idea what went together, so we're piecing our entire kitchen together by 2"x2" thumb size pics on a screen or in a brochure and will either love it or hate it, but it HAS got to be better than the disaster we currently call a kitchen.  So I figure, it's a win/win.  At least for the bathroom the guy came with samples and let us touch them at the dining room table, still have no idea how it'll look, but hey, we had samples!!!  The current tub has a dangling safety rail after Joshua had a seizure and pulled it part way out and then Trayvon slipped in the tub, grabbed the railing and finished off the wall with one good pull.  So I figure our pretty new marble shower surround and white tub will be an upgrade from the peach beauty we currently call a tub with the gaping hole in the wall!  I already bought a new shower curtain and will decidedly use it to gauge the new wall color, I saw a pretty one in my brochure.

Ok, last little update. . . and it's been on my mind for a while.  Some may relate, others may not.  But for me, the struggle is real.  Underwear.

We never have enough in the house, the drawers, or the laundry.  Someone ALWAYS needs underwear.  Joshua needs two pairs a day.  As a mother a part of me wants to scream "WHY?!"  The other part says; "Shhhh, you probably don't want to open that Pandora's box."  But, Marriela, then Cody, and then Trayvon. . . I put Peter out of his underwear deficiency misery by buying him three packs of 6 (with a free extra pair in each pack) for a grand total of 21 pairs of underwear.  But do I really need to do that for EVERYONE in the house?  I'm stubborn and I stand by the fact that every child and adult in this house has a minimum of 8 pairs of underwear with most having far more than that, How does one go through that many pairs in a few days time??  This vacation is wearing me thin on this issue though, and I feel as though there will be an Amazon order going in.  Then my Facebook feed will be all lit up with all different types and styles of underwear for the next three months!

Well, my cold is officially driving me to bed with some Vick's vapor rub and tea.  I missed you all and look forward to updating you more on some of our daily antics more often.

Love, Renee

P.S. VR is our 12 passenger van that looks a lot like a 'creeper' van with it's tinted windows.  Peter once referred to it as the VR when I insisted he take it out with his friends one night.  It stands affectionately for "Vagina Repellent".

Saturday, April 15, 2017

A wee update

It's been a long time since I last posted.  Almost 2 years.  As it really isn't possible to update you on two years of life in the Curkendall household, I'll go with the easy things.

1.  We have been hospital free for a very long time!!  Sergio is now consistently treated at home with IV antibiotics and all of the other 'stuff' that gets him better in the hospital, right at home.  It's been a game changer.  Unless he is getting progressively worse after several rounds of antibiotics, we don't so much as step foot in the hospital.  He's been there 3 times in the last 23 months, all outpatient for new lines and g-tube changes.  It's been awesome and the reason I'm now a fully employed woman!

2.  Everyone is healthy!  From a relative standpoint, this is HUGE!  We have survived the past 2 years with minimal major illness or even lots of little stuff.  A cold here and there, but that's about it. Tray did have an abscess that was easily and quickly treated with a round or oral antibiotics and there was a quick round of what we 'think' may have been a mild flu.  All in all, cruising along well.

3.  Schooling is over for both Peter and I and we are fully employed, contributing members of society again!  Peter is working at Vera House, a not-for-profit that works with men, women, and children who are the victims of trauma, especially when it's a result of domestic or sexual abuse.  I am working as a third grade special education teacher at an elementary school in Syracuse, New York.  I love my job, but I work at an extended day school and don't get home until 5:00 each night.  That's not my idea of a 'school day' but it could be worse, I could be unemployed with my 3 degrees.  So I'm not complaining. . . well, maybe a little.

4.  Joshua graduated from high school.  Tray is a Jr. and graduates next year.  Marriela is moving to the high school next year as well.  Cody is going to be a middle schooler and Sergio. . . well, due to nursing complications, is no longer attending school.  He's now on homebound and is doing wonderful!  Annette has moved into her own apartment in a large development in the next town over and LOVES her independence.

Well,, there are new things that need to be updated, but for now, with little more than just the facts, I'm going to head to bed.  It's Easter Eve and I'm sure the festivities tomorrow will give me much more incentive to write!

Love to all.